


"Everythings nothing without you"

by shittyusername



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Sad, Suicide, break-up, bye, i cried while writing this idk, yeah idk i think thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 01:24:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyusername/pseuds/shittyusername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke kills himself that's all really and i honestly broke my own heart writing this. I literally wrote this quickly on my phone at 3am because my WiFi went out thats about it really. I cried while writing it but it probably sucks balls. </p>
<p>Title is lyrics from with me by sum 41 yay</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Everythings nothing without you"

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this and have luke wake up bc im honestly so in love with the boy that I can't even write a fictional stop where he dies without being super sad. So yeh, ill probably add another chapter where he wakes up and make it have a happy ending bc im still upset about this lmao :-( :-( :-(

"I can't do this anymore luke, the distance, its all too much, im sorry" you tried to blink away the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.   
"What are you saying?" He didn't even bother trying to hide his tears, his voice cracking.   
"Us, luke. Im done. I'm sorry"  
"Don't leave me"  
"Im sorry luke" you spared a glance back at the broken boy before you opened the door and stormed over to your car with your bags as quickly as possible.   
Inside luke had now slipped his way down the wall and onto the floor whre he sat with head in hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

Nobody saw him for days. 

\--------

January 23rd, 2014.

Hey, i miss you.....  
I saw your sister the other day, she said you were well, that makes one of us. I'm really glad you're okay, I just want you to be happy, that's all I want. I kinda wish I was still the reason for it but as long as you're happy things are ok I guess. I thought writing my feelings down would help a little considering I can't talk to anybody else about this without crying like a baby, I guess I was wrong because now I feel so much worse. I'm sorry. I don't know if ive said this already but, I miss you. So much. I love you.   
-luke x 

January 31st 2014 

Hey its me again, obviously. I thought I should write to you again today considering today its been 5 years since we met. I still remember that day like it was yesterday, I don't think I can ever forget, I mean who could forget my awful dancing. I still can't believe you even gave me the time of day. You looked so beautiful in that black dress, out of all the guys in that club trying to chat you up you went for me! Me of all people!!! That's crazy, what were you thinking? Im a strong 2 and you're at least a 10, I can't believe I ever got that lucky. The boys couldn't believe it either judging by how much they teased me for it. Oh god im crying again. If these letters ever actually make it to you I just want to apologize for all the tear stains, I guess im just not strong without you. Anyway i don't want to make all the ink run, i want this to still be readable so im probably going to go and get absolutely drunk to try and forget about us. 

-luke x 

February 1st 2014 

So it turns out that not even all the alcohol in the world could get my mind off you, now im just left with a killer hangover and I feel even worse. When you were with me i remember you'd always bring me tea and toast in bed with 2 pain killers for my head and we'd spend the next few hours cuddling. I wish I could say ive been sleeping easier without you taking up three quarters of the bed and stealing all of the covers but honestly i haven't. I haven't really been sleeping at all actually. The boys have noticed how tired i always look, you left some of that concealer stuff you use in our sorry i mean my bathroom, im sorry i just haven't adjusted to living alone yet, anyway yeah i use that stuff to cover the bags under my eyes because i dont want to worry the boys, that's not weird....right? I'm gonna go stay with mum for a while, i can't bare being in the flat without you, it kills me.  
\- luke x 

February 7th 2014   
Im back from mums. She told me ive lost weight and there's 'nothing left of me' that's pretty understandable I guess, i haven't been able to eat or drink properly since you left, that's probably pretty hard to believe, you know me...I could eat a damn elephant if you gave me the chance. Anyway now im pretty sure i gained about 100lb during my stay, haha. Jack asked me about you and mum gave him the evilest look ive ever seen then pulled him into the kitchen and shouted at him, dad changed the channel everytime there was a couple on the screen, I guess everyone is tiptoeing around me now, I feel like a 7 year old whose fish has just died or something, everyone is desperately avoiding the subject, im not sure whether that was a good comparison to make but oh well, ill probably never have the balls to actually send these letters to you, they'll probably just stay sitting on the bedside table on your side of the bed forever. Anyway I hope you're well. Honestly, I do.  
I miss you.   
I love you always.  
-luke x 

February 14th 2014   
Happy valentines day. I was going to propose today. Ive got the ring and everything still. I can't bare to be in the flat today of all days so im sitting here on that bridge near your parents house, the one i used to meet you at when you sneaked out to meet me, honestly i used to get so nervous incase your dad caught us, he scared the shit out of me. It's pretty cold and raining which is odd considering the part of the world we live in. It's kinda a good representation of what my life has been like since you left. I've got the ring with me, I was considering throwing it in the river but i don't think thatll help to be honest. I just want you back, I need you. I'm really sorry if you can't read this because its raining really heavily now, speak soon.  
\- luke x 

 

February 20th 2014 

I haven't left the house in about 3 days, not since I went out with calum on Friday and somebody told me you were seeing that guy you had a fling with before we met, james or something like that? Anyway I can't even think of you without crying and I can't even hear his name without wanting to punch him in the face. He's probably nice though, much better than me, no matter how nice he is im always going to say you desrve better because honestly, you do, you deserve all the greatest things in the world. I wish I could've given them to you. We've been touring a lot recently here at home, but honestly whenever we have days off I just stay at home, I don't want to face the world without you. Is that selfish? I mean, I have everything I ever wanted, people are finally hearing our music, we have our own album, we even sold out our own headline tour for god sake, but everything's nothing without you y/n. I can't enjoy any of this if you're not here with me. I'm probably going to go drown myself in alcohol again now because right now im alone with just me and my thoughts and its killing me.   
\- luke x 

March 1st 2014  
So I hear you and this james guy are kinda official now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous, I just hope he makes you happier than I could. The tour is finished and now its just my thoughts and I here in the flat again. I started smoking again, I know how much you hated it but it seems to be the only thing that can calm me down when i get bad now-a-days, you were my alternative but you've got someone new now, someone much much better than me. The boys keep saying to me 'she's moved on, you need to do the same' but its hard, I can't. I can't sleep or eat let alone find somebody else, all I want is you. It's only you. It hurts that im not enough for you anymore, I understand though, im not enough for anybody. I love you so much it hurts. Always.  
\- luke x 

March 6th 2014

I keep going back to the bridge near your parent's house whenever I need to think because I can't think in the flat without memories of us invading my thoughts. Apparently things are going to get better but its been almost 4 months now, ive accepted they're never going to improve unless I get you back. But I don't want to pull you down with me, you seem to be doing so much better without me. It breaks my heart but somewhere amongst all this emptiness im feeling im happy for you, I truly am.   
\- luke x 

March 19th 2014 

Things are literally so unbearable now. All I seem to do now is argue with everybody and push everyone who tries to help me away, if you were here you'd slap me and tell me what an idiot im being, but you're not here because I fucked that up along with everything else. Ive tried moving on and finding other reasons to be happy but its impossible. I only want you, its still you. I don't want to exist anymore without you. I love you, I need you.   
-luke x 

May 2nd 2014

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been thinking a lot. I plucked up the courage to come and try to speak to you finally, I drove to your new house but I saw his car outside and went to the liquor store instead and bought just about enough alcohol to supply an entire frat party. I drank it all, it helped for a while I guess until I woke up in the morning and you weren't there, thats really not a feeling ill ever get used to. I don't think I can live like this anymore, I think im going to kill myself.  
\- luke.

 

May 13th 2014   
Today is the day. I've given myself enough time to really think this over but my mind still hasn't changed. Maybe once im gone ill finally feel something again, I can't live with this constant emptiness that's been here since you left. If you ever get this letter I just want you to know that this isn't your fault, so if any part of you still cares about me then just know that I did this for everybody's own good. You're happier without me and everyone else will be too. I think that when you gave up on me, I gave up on myself too, but you're also the only thing that's kept me holding on this long, but now its time to let go. Thankyou for all the memories you gave us the chance to make together and thankyou for making me happy, im glad that you're happy. I've taken quite a lot of pills already so im not really sure if any of this is making any sense at all but I love you, ill always love you. Maybe we'll be together again some day, maybe. Goodbye for now. i love you  
-lu

 

Luke's eyes gently drifted shut and his heart gradually slowed as he began to sign off the letter. There was a sudden loud bang at the door followed by a few loud voices, lukes hearing was failing him and everything sounded muffled as 3 boys came running into his bedroom, shouting and crying, shaking him to try and wake him up, lukes eyes finally slipped shut and the emptiness was gone. Just like that.


End file.
